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Dharma Etiquette

Introduction

Each center you may go to has different levels of formality. The RSL sanghas can be a little 'laid-back' compared to some, but here are some basics for the shrine room, greeting your teacher, and for dharma items no matter where you are.

The Lama

  • Rise when he or she enters, palms pressed together at the heart and slightly bow in respect.
  • When seated please do not point your feet at the shrine or the teacher. If you have to stretch, simply do so off to the side.
  • When the Lama sits, offer three prostrations. Some centers like you to do three prostrations upon entering the shrine room. These do not have to be full prostrations, but simply head to the ground. If you have back problems, simply bow three times. If you are unsure or embarrassed, ask another sangha member! Everyone has been through the nervousness of trying it the first time.
  • Teachers usually ask if anyone has questions at the appropriate break. Please save questions for then, or ask to speak in private.
  • Many Tibetans have a great sense of humor, they love to tease. Don't take it personally or feel you're being picked on.
  • After teachings, when the retreat or weekend is finished, students file up to offer a 'katag' (the 'g' is silent) or white scarf. The lama will take it, bless it and place it back over your neck. If you are not sure how it's done, ask another sangha member, they will be happy to show you. When an Empowerment is finished, at the end of the tsog, a small offering is also made with the scarf. Generally this is a monetary offering in an envelope. Simply offer the katag and place the envelope on the table. The same is done when going to a private interview. This is an old Vajrayana tradition, where the offering at an empowerment is said to increase the interdependent connection between you, the lama and the yidam. It may have been done with livestock, or other household goods, but Rinpoche would be much happier if you didn't give him a goat.

 

The shrine room and dharma items

  • Please do not place text or ritual objects directly on the floor. It is best to have a small cloth or table to place them on.
  • If these objects fall, Tibetans will raise them to their head quickly before placing them back out of respect.
  • The shrine, whether at the teaching or in your home should be kept clean, with filled offering bowls, and images or statues. Please do not put unnecessary objects on the shrine even if they are spiritual in nature. The idea is you are creating a palace, an object of refuge and worship. In our forum we have nice drawings of shrine setups (coming soon)
  • Rinpoche encourages everyone who is practicing at the tantra level to use a bell and Dorje. When you reach that stage, talk with Rinpoche if he would like you to start using one.

 

Sangha Brothers and Sisters

  • According to the Vajrayana, the relationship one has with disciples under the same guru is very important.
  • Even when you are simply at a teaching together, everyone is a practitioner and expected to act like it. This means with patience, loving kindness and compassion. This is not a syrupy sweet kindness based on falsity, but truly in the nature that we are all here to 'work on our stuff' and that the challenges we offer each other are part of the path as well.
  • Try not to be judgmental, and check your ego at the door. If someone gets on your nerves, and it happens to the most experienced meditator, use your toolbox of skills (tong-len, lo-jong, emptiness).
  • Most of all remember, the RSL sanghas are full of open-minded, generous students, some of the best people to practice with you will ever meet (though, I'm a little biased myself). So feel welcome!